Communication - Is The Ultimate Art of Parenting

Ultimately, parenting is all about communication:

  • What you say
  • How you say it
  • When you speak
  • How you act
  • The feeling you convey

Different ways to communicate with different ages:

  • 0 to 1 year: Baby talk
  • 2 to 5 years: Discovery, exploration, and showing how things are done (leadership)
  • 5 to 11 years: Demonstrating how to handle things independently
  • 12 to 17 years: Conversations about responsibility, consequenses and encourage self-exploration

Always start with linguistic matching:

Confirm your child by using words they themselves use. This makes your child feel heard and understood. It doesn’t mean you agree or approve. Provide feedback so the child knows you understand their terms. From there, you can lead.

When you speak your child’s words, it reduces resistance. It takes the fight out of the conversation. Linguistic matching allows you to meet them at the same bus stop.

Agree, don’t argue. Accept whatever he/she says. It’s precisely what the child is saying, even if you don’t agree. Confirm that you’ve understood and then guide them where they need to go. Use words appropriate for the child’s age.

Invite, don’t lecture. Ask questions to get them thinking… and trying out new ideas. Stay away from teaching, being condescending, or judgmental. Ask questions that can’t be answered immediately.

Speak to the child’s nature/style/temperament. If the child is strong-willed and temperamental, do the opposite.

Expect that your child may not want to talk or share with you. Make sure there are other adults your child can talk to, or perhaps would prefer to talk to.

And YOU, check that you haven’t been afflicted by the disease called SERIOUS…

Remember to Have Fun

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